2010

I'm thankful today for the generosity of the people who love us. My parents gave us jewelry to sell for the adoption. Numerous friends have bought the coffee Stan has been roasting. My precious cousin who adopted a baby this year slipped cash to Stan while we were opening gifts on Saturday.

I tallied up today what we have paid out for adoption in 2010, and the total came to $4555.00. Our next payment to Bethany will be about $11,000, which we will not pay until we take custody of Baby K.

Here are my favorite 2010 adoption moments:
1. I caught Stan going through yard sale donations to pull out books for our child.
2. A woman at our October yard sale dropped a five dollar bill in the donation jar, having not purchased a thing.
3. My third block class raised $60 in change.
4. Three Hispanic girls in my third block class cheered when I told them we had the possibility of adopting an Hispanic baby girl.
5. While holding my cousin's daughter, Stan mouthed to me across the room, "You distract them, and I'll make a run for the car."
6. I had the "aha" moment three weeks ago when I knew God had changed my heart toward transracial adoption and drug exposure.
7. I saw our online portfolio on the Bethany website.
8. When I was working on our profile book, I fell even more in love with my husband.
Today is our wedding anniversary, and I'm thankful most of all for him.

Not This One

I (Angie) called DSS today to check on the status of the infant girl we learned about last week. I couldn't get in touch with the original social worker I spoke with, so I called his supervisor. According to her, at the Tuesday meeting with the birthmother, DSS officials made the decision to place the child with a family for adoption. The social worker was surprised to learn of our interest; apparently, the original social worker never passed on our information or connection to the family. I have to trust that this is simply not the child God has for us. If I choose to believe otherwise, that someone dropped the ball, I'll obsess about what could have been. The intense disappointment we feel today is a good sign: We really want this and are ready for both transracial placement and a child who has been exposed to drugs.

No News

I saw a picture today of the little girl who is in the custody of DSS. She is so very, very beautiful. There has been no word about the meeting the birthmother had today with DSS social workers, but I understand that the agency will do anything possible to keep a child with a family member. Since there is a cousin who is interested, that will be the probable route. Stan and I are hopeful that the baby will be placed soon with someone so that bonding can begin. I'll post again today if we hear anything.

A Prayer Request

A relative of one of Angie's students had a baby last Friday, and DSS has put the infant into foster care because the birthmother had to be incarcerated. The birthmother is addicted to crack cocaine, which is apparently what induced her labor at 37 weeks. The baby, a half Hispanic, half Caucasian girl, weighed just over five pounds but is healthy so far. We are praying about and for this little girl, who may be adopted by a family member. Angie called the assigned social worker today to get details and is waiting for a return call. The birthmother has had six other children, all of whom were exposed to crack during pregnancy. The oldest has schizophrenia, but the younger ones have dealt only with some development speech delays and manageable learning disabilities.

We'll just take this a step at a time.

For Coffee Snobs

Friends,
As you may know, Stan is an utter coffee snob. He buys his own raw beans from all over the world and roasts them himself. To raise money to pay for our $3100 home study, he has ordered his beans in bulk and is packaging them for sale. They are available now in a variety of holiday and generic packaging, so please let us know if you would like to purchase any for gifts. The price is $10 per bag, and if you want some shipped to you, we'll figure out shipping costs and get the coffee in the mail as soon as you order it. Call us at home if you're interested. Even if you don't want any for Christmas gifts, order some for yourself. It's DELICIOUS.

Our online profile is up!!!

How exciting! Birthparents from anywhere in the U.S. can now find us online and express interest in our little family. Here's the link:

Stan and Angie online

Online Profile

Today, we sent in text and three pictures for the online profile that will be linked to the Bethany Christian Services web site. We have agreed to adopt from any state, so a birthparent in Washington or Arizona could search online and find us. I'll put up a link when it's live. We are also working on a YouTube video to be linked to the profile. We'll walk around the house and yard; film Spencer, Rudy, and Gidget; and interview each other. Then we'll splice and dice and put up a ten-minute video to introduce ourselves to birthparents all over the U.S.

If you'd like to get an idea of what we're doing, check out this link:

Family Profile

Perspective

This morning, I was drawn to Ephesians 1, and I was struck by the language used in the New American Standard translation to describe God's perspective of my relationship with him. He "chose us in him before the foundation of the world." He "predestined us for adoption." He "lavished" his grace upon us. He set forth his purpose in Christ "as a plan for the fullness of time." I am the "Beloved." The use of adoption as an analogy is beautiful, and I'm starting to get it.

Ox Poop and the Messiness of Abundance

I've been waiting all day to write that title. :-)
This morning at church, our friend Mike shared this verse: "Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest." Believe it or not, this odd line from Proverbs 14 was confirmation from God that I need to accept the process of adoption and stop whining. I had a dream on Thursday that my dad told me to stop complaining about the complicated steps we have to go through to become parents. This verse was confirmation; oxen are messy. If I had a tidy barn that stayed pristine and perfect, I would have no harvest. Life isn't neat, short, or tidy; it is what it is. It made more sense to me in church, but that's the gist of it.

The next thing: It's time to step up the fundraising process for our adoption. Along with the official "You're on the waiting parents list" letter we received yesterday was an invoice for $3100. We have tucked away $1200 toward this amount, so we need to raise $1900 in order to pay for our home assessment that was just completed. Stan and I would like to ask our friends and family to participate in this process with us.

I have pictured in my mind a "family tree" of sorts. From the trunk branch out gifts from the people who want to help us fund this adoption. On some branches are $10 leaves from 20 people who just want to be a part of it all. Nearby are 16 thicker branches with $25 leaves on them. If there are 10 $50 leaves and 8 $100 leaves, our home assessment is covered.

Many of you donated items for our yard sale, so please keep those donations coming for the next yard sale. If you believe that God wants you to donate financially to help pay for our assessment, please contact us. Know that at this point your donation would not be tax deductible. We may have a way down the road to provide a deduction, so feel free to wait if you need to do so.

AT LAST!

Here are a couple of excerpts from the Bethany letter we received today:

"We are pleased to inform you that your family assessment has been approved for adoptive planning and the approval date is October 28, 2010. You are now included with families who can be actively considered for children available for placement."

"We are assuming that you are now prepared to accept a child and could assume responsibility at any time."

Hear the happy sighs.

A Portfolio for Baby K

Click here to view this photo book larger

RIL

As of September 14, 2010, we must fill out paperwork so that DSS can search for our names on the Responsible Individuals List in compliance with the Adam Walsh Law. Here's a blurb about the RIL: "The Responsible Individuals List identifies individuals found to be responsible for the abuse or serious neglect of a juvenile. Information from the RIL is available to certain authorized users for the purpose of determining current or prospective employability or fitness to care for or adopt children." It takes about two weeks from the time Bethany receives our forms for the RIL search to be done.

According to a message we received today from our social worker, our home study will be done as soon as this piece is completed. At that point, we will be in the "waiting pool". I love the phrasing. The first image I got was of the pool of Bethesda--desperate people waiting to watch God work.

I'm finding it harder and harder to tamp down the cynicism, sarcasm, and incredulity that wants to creep into the tone of these postings. The inordinate care that is taken to protect our future child impresses me to no end, and at the same time, I am paying into a public medical system that covers abortions. How does that make sense? God NEVER promised us that this would be fair or logical, did he? He called us to care for widows and orphans, not pick apart or even try to right a wacky system. The devil's not in the details; God is. He's still orchestrating, timing, working the universe so that we end up with the child he planned for us before he formed Adam from dust. God is in the details. God is in the details. God is in the details.

Encouragement

The fundraiser yard sale was a good experience. We cleared $370, not including a $300 donation we received just before the sale. The vast majority of people, when they heard about the purpose for the yard sale, were generous. We had a "no haggle" policy going into the sale and ended up pulling out two items (Stan's manual Pentax camera and Angie's flat screen monitor) because we couldn't just give them away. Angie's Alvarez classical acoustic guitar went for $20 to a man who showed up at 6:30 with a flashlight. Ouch. The coolest moment of the day was this: Three of my students helped out at the sale, and of them is doing a research paper on trans-racial adoption. She got the chance to interview Sarah, our friend who adopted a little boy from Ethiopia.

We both feel like we've been hit by a truck this morning but are so grateful for a gorgeous day and the support of friends and neighbors. I saw God's fingerprints on the event from the weather to the time we got to spend with three pretty awesome teenagers.

To date, we have spent $1385 on the adoption. We have about $1200 tucked away for a portion of the home study. I'll be blogging soon about future fundraisers.

The baby bottle fundraiser for The Abba Fund has netted about $50 so far. Go Academy Phoenix!

A Packed Living Room

Our living room is packed with the coolest stuff for our fundraiser yard sale! We have everything from record albums to a huge beach ball, and I'm so glad we made the call not to put prices on things this time around.

The students at The Academy at Central are running with the baby bottle fundraiser. Two classes (my third block and Mrs. Reid's third block) are neck and neck (get it? bottleneck? anyway...) for the grand prize (which is nothing; the kids are doing it for the right reasons), and they love the competition. A handful of kids now call me "Mama K", and I love it. :-)

Lovin' my students today

I have a cool teaching moment to report. One of my juniors is studying adoption for her Graduation Project, and I'm her mentor. She's having a baby bottle fundraiser to raise money and awareness for The ABBA Fund, a charity that offers interest-free loans to families that are adopting. Third block classes are competing to see which one can raise the most money by filling up the one baby bottle in each class. My third block students, most of whom I am teaching for the third semester in a row and know all about our adoption plans, got so excited today that they all took baby bottles home to raise money in their neighborhoods. When I casually mentioned that the money won't go toward our adoption, they protested and started brainstorming ways they could raise money for the Kratzers (car wash, etc.). Who says teenagers can't be selfless???!!!

Home Study Draft

Yay! Today we received a draft of the write-up for our home study, and it was encouraging to read what our social worker, friends, and employers have said about us as individuals, about our marriage, and about our qualifications to be good parents. We will edit for factual errors (like being called Scott and Ruth Anne in several places) and send it back. There are funny physical descriptions of us both. Stan is "pale", and I'm "big-boned." At least we're not pasty and pudgy.

Don't forget about our yard sale OCTOBER 9. We need traffic, and we need donated items. :-)

Update

This week, I did the last of my medical tests (TB, HIV, drug screening) and wrote a baby care plan with Stan for the organization of the nursery (no, really). We met with a counselor so that he could make a recommendation about Stan's ability to be the primary caregiver (no, really) since that's how it will work if we adopt soon. I'll get the TB test checked on Wednesday and then send in the care plan. Once my doctor faxes in my test results and the counselor mails the recommendation letter, our social worker will drop those things into our home study document, which she has already written. She sends it to us, we look over it and give any clarification needed, and she then sends it to the state director. We are officially approved and then become a "waiting family."

We have been told to expect to go through this process again in 18 months.

DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE FUNDRAISER YARD SALE ON OCTOBER 2!!! IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO DONATE, LET ME KNOW!!

Adoption Fundraiser!

We will be having an adoption fundraiser yard sale on Saturday, October 2. If you would like to contribute anything--DVD's and toys sell particularly well--call Stan (707-1577) or Angie (337-1181), and one of us will come over and pick up your stuff. If you would rather bring it over yourself, feel free!

Tired, Tired, Tired

I had a dream last night that we adopted a one-inch child who was rather undernourished. We kept losing her! One time, I made up the bed and accidentally flung her off the bedspread. Days later, I finally found her under the bed. She was so dried up (much like a contact) that I decided to put her in water. Like a sponge toy, she blew up into a full-grown child once she was full of water. Oh yeah, and SHE became a HE. And the HE had a tail like a T-rex. Analyze that, baby.

I'm going to stop saying, "We only have one more thing to do!" It never seems to be true. Just today I was asked for an interpretation of our lead paint test results, a TB test, and an HIV test.

One Last Thing

The last two items we had to complete were a work history for Stan and the paperwork on lead testing for our home. The lead test, of course, came back positive but only slightly. The paint on one old sliding glass door tested positive. The other thing we have been asked to do is have a counselor sign off saying that we can handle the stress of having a newborn. We have an appointment on Tuesday at 4:00 for that. The Bethany director for North Carolina told our social worker that we'll be approved as soon as that last bit of paperwork is done.

Service Plan Details

We have finished all paperwork and interviews. We bought our lead paint test kit, and all we have left to do is send the results to Bethany and put up two more smoke alarms. A few people asked at church today about our adoption service plan, so here's the current list of what we are open to:

Attributes of Child:

0-1 Age of child
Yes multiple births
Yes Surgically correctable medical condition

Birthparent Social/Medical History

Yes Limited or no medical information on birthfather
Yes Victim of rape
Will consider Victim of incest
Yes Mental illness in birthparent
Yes Anxiety Disorder
Yes Depression
Yes Mental illness in extended family
Yes Learning disability in birthparent
Yes Learning disability in extended family
Yes ADD/ADHD
Yes Alcohol/drug use by mother prior to pregnancy
Yes Alcohol/drug use by father
Yes Reported drug/alcohol abuse in extended family
Yes Criminal history
Yes Viral sexually transmitted diseases
Yes Lack of consistent medical care for birthmother during pregnancy

We said "Yes" across the board on the openness options we have:

Meet expectant parent(s) prior to the birth
Involve the birthparents in naming the child
Legal Risk/direct placement of a child according to applicable state law
Interstate placement (willingness to travel)
Exchange full names/addresses/phone numbers with birth family
Pictures, e-mail, video and written updates directly with birthparents/family
Pictures, e-mail, video and written updates through Bethany Christian Services
Please specify preferred frequency of updates(2-4 times per year until child is 18)
Ongoing face to face contact with birthparents, child and adoptive parents
Visits to take place in home
Visits to take place in neutral setting

Home Study

Our social worker came tonight for our home study and Angie's individual interview, and she was here for about two and a half hours. Because of the age of our house, we have to test for lead paint, and we need to get a carbon monoxide detector. Angie's interview was a long one. When asked how I (Angie) deal with grief, I started off with shallow, flippant answers and then the flood gates opened. That little cry did me good.

Stan's interview is in Raleigh on the 18th, and then our social worker has 30 days to write up the home study, run it by us, have it approved by her supervisor, have it approved by the state director, and then we're on a list of waiting families. I'll finish our profile book in the meantime, have the social worker approve it online, and have it printed. I'm estimating that our profile book will be shown starting in late September.

I have to give a shout out to Stan on the blog today. School has begun for me, so I've had a pretty exhausting week (without air on Wednesday! whew!). When I came home today for the interview, the house was spotless, people . . . spotless!! You've done it now, honey. Now I know you can clean.

The Next Thing

We had our first family assessment meeting with our social worker, and it lasted over two hours. She asked direct questions and seemed really to hear us. After listening to us both discuss our views on trans-racial adoption, she made the call that Stan is ready for that, but Angie is not. For me (Angie), that was actually a load off because I've been feeling the pressure to make that decision. She didn't close the door by any means and recommended several books for us to read.

We have our home visit on Thursday, August 12. She'll meet with our pastor and then come over to the house to check for safety issues.  Then we'll have individual interviews some time later in August. And then . . . and then   . . . we'll be on the waiting list. Yeeehaaaw. She reminded us that we are not in competition with the other waiting families but rather that God has already planned the family he will create when we are "matched" with the birth parents.  Bethany does not do the pairing; birth parents are shown profile books of the families that match their needs and desires. For example, our profile book (one we're making on Shutterfly) might be shown to Caucasian birth parents who want an open adoption and who have a family medical history that matches the list Stan and I agreed upon.

Family Assessment

Finally! Our Family Assessment, what most agencies call the Home Study, begins today. We got a call from Bethany on Monday saying that all our paperwork is in and that we need to schedule three meetings. Ironically, we've been off all summer, school is about to start, and we now need to schedule weekday meetings. Angie goes back to work this Wednesday, August 4, so we squeezed in the first meeting for today, Tuesday, August 3. One of the main purposes of today's meeting is to make some big decisions regarding our infant adoption service plan and openness options. All that translates into this: What are our preferences for age, physical impairments, mental impairments, family medical history, and level of openness with the the birth parents? We have filled out a questionnaire of YES, NO, and WILL CONSIDER for issues like these:

Birth mother is a victim of incest.
Birth parents have a criminal history.
Birth mother lacked consistent medical care.
Placement is multiple births.
We want to involve the birth parents in naming the child.

We had no idea all of these issues were involved, so the process has been interesting. We've gone back to the questionnaire over the past few months as we've learned more about the benefits of open adoption and the nature of children whose parents abused drugs prior to pregnancy, etc. We felt comfortable saying YES to issues that our own biological children may have had (anxiety, attention deficit, etc.) and are more and more comfortable with WILL CONSIDER than we used to be on issues such as contact with the birth parents.

We're going to Raleigh today to meet with our social worker, and then we'll go to Raleigh once more. Finally, she will come here to see our home and check it for safety. We may actually have to install the three smoke detectors that have been sitting in our laundry room.

Out of Control

This is just a quick note to say that we're stalled. We've been waiting for over two months for our last piece of paperwork to be filled out. Apparently, the person to whom we sent it didn't receive it, and Bethany had to send another. I think the theme of this whole experience has been CONTROL. Essentially, I don't have any. Neither does Stan. We've done our last heart-wrenching, hormone-ravaging round of fertility treatments, and we're done. Our hearts, wallets, and bodies are just finished. I think we have grieved this "ending" as much as we grieved our miscarriage. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, we know a God who has the big picture.

A Short Hurdle

The last little thing we have to do on our end is attend an infant care class, and today's the day. The Women's Hospital is allowing us to step into one class in a series of workshops on birthing and child care, so we'll be in class for two hours this afternoon. Then we mail off that last signature and start the home study process. We expect to be on a waiting list by the end of the summer.

What a process. On Monday, I have an appointment with Dr. Yalcincaya, our wonderful reproductive endocrinologist. I'll have an ultrasound to check out what's going on. For the last week, I've been giving myself shots and taking pills. Last night, our power went out right at the time I had to prepare the syringe and give myself the shot, so Stan held his phone up so that I could get enough light to see what I was doing. At one point, I thought, Really? Are we supposed to go through this much to be parents? Blue Cross won't cover this last round of meds, so I've paid out about $900 for the medication.

June will be it for us. Six years. Three surgeries. Miscarriage. Rounds of meds and procedures. Ironically, I've become much more excited about adoption than pregnancy; I don't think of it as our second choice but rather as an adventure. God is good, and I believe he is still at the podium, orchestrating it all.

Training #2

We spent four hours on Monday with the Raleigh Bethany staff discussing child placement and the considerations we must make when deciding the ethnicity, age, and special needs of the child we may add to our family. Again, I was discouraged to learn that the oldest adoptive parent this office has dealt with was 46. On the other hand, I was encouraged by the staff's unwavering commitment to the children. They are the first priority. We learned that, currently, BCS in North Carolina "closes" 20 to 25 adoptions per year and that the intake of committed birthmothers is close to the number of waiting families. After this meeting, I'm now going to work on changing some of my adoption language. Bethany does not use the phrase "gave up for adoption" because it indicates abandonment, not doing what is best for a child. Birthmothers are asked if they are ready to "parent the child," not "keep the child." There's a very different commitment level with the change of just one word!

There were considerations that I had never even thought of; for example, an older birthmother--the oldest for Raleigh was 43--is likely to have other children, possibly full siblings of our child. An open adoption would mean having some type of communication with those children. I'm finding myself more and more interested in open adoption, and I never thought I would be. The staff at Bethany allows us to make our own decision about closed, semi-open, or open; so there is no pressure or stress there, but research indicates that de-mystifying adoption mitigates some of the fantasizing our child might do about what his or her biological parents are like. It cuts out the "What if my child wants to know more" fear. Semi-open adoption could mean letters and pictures (through Bethany) once a year. Open adoption could mean our child knowing his or her birthmother and thinking of her as a sort of distant aunt.

Signing the Contract

Bethany sent us the Adoption Services Contract with a breakdown of the costs. Because Bethany is a non-profit that covers overhead expenses through donations, the agency is able to using a sliding scale to determine the costs for the adopting family. The rule of thumb is 20% of the combined family income plus any birthparent expenses that come up (hospital costs, lawyer fees, etc.). Now that I know where the money goes (like counseling and lifetime follow up with the birthparents), the amount seems so small.

On Monday, May 17, we are heading to Raleigh for our second training session. The only thing we have left to do on our end is attend an infant parenting class through any local hospital or agency. (I smiled to myself today thinking of the care Bethany takes in making sure the children they place receive the best care possible.) Once we have taken the class, we'll begin our home study. I am more than ready to get past the paperwork and be placed on a waiting list, but I would imagine God wants to refine us through the process, not just the result, and show us Who He is.

A Sad Statistic

I (Angie) learned recently that only 2% of pregnant teens choose adoption for their children. One of the Bethany trainers made the point last Friday that they are very careful to use the phrase "parent the child" instead of "keep the baby" when talking about options with expectant mothers.

A Sigh of Relief

We spent seven hours with the NC Bethany staff yesterday, and our brains are FULL. On the three-hour drive home, our discussions were something akin to letting air slowly out of a balloon. We had to process in tiny "releases" to avoid exploding in a willy-nilly outburst of overwhelmedness. The greatest take away for me (Angie) was a better understanding of the services our money will pay for. I didn't realize how much of our fee went toward counseling for the birthparents. Both birth and adoptive parents get services for life through Bethany, and that's pretty amazing . . . and even more rare. We met several other couples who will be going through the process in the same time frame we will, so it's nice to meet people who can commiserate and encourage. Stan's take away was an appreciation for Bethany's embryo adoption program. We heard from a 44-year-old physician who just gave birth to twins through the use of a donor couple's IVF embryos that they decided not to use. Today in the United States, there are over 400,000 healthy, screened embryos in frozen storage. Amazing. We turned in about three inches of paperwork during the lunch break, and that felt SO GOOD! The next steps will be a four-hour training in May; while we wait for that to happen, we're working on Shutterfly.com to put together the portfolio birthparents will use to "shop" for the family they want for their child. My one discouragement yesterday was learning that most birthparents look for couples in their 20's or 30's; however, birthparents in their late 30's tend to look for older, more stable couples.

Training

One of the things that attracted us to Bethany Christian Services is the organization's commitment to teaching prospective parents how to deal with the issues that arise with adoption. We head to Arden, NC on Friday for an all-day (9-4) training on the adoption process. I'm particularly excited about the section on the portfolio because it is Bethany's philosophy that the birth parents, when possible, choose the adopting parents. We have been putting together a "scrapbook" of sorts for distribution to the three NC Bethany sites, so birth parents will be able to get to know us before deciding to place with us. So far, it's a PowerPoint about our backgrounds, passions, beliefs, home, families, and (of course) pets. Rudy, Spencer, and Gidget play starring roles in the portfolio so far.

We're Formally Approved!

At last! Our formal application has been cleared, and we're now facing a MOUNTAIN of forms. In the last hour, I have poured over  Bethany's stance on corporal punishment, listed every penny of monthly expenses, and signed my name at least 20 times. If birth parents had to go through this much to have a child, I think the paperwork alone would serve as birth control.

Oh! Here's a question I can't answer: What are the anticipated costs for a child to be placed in your home? Think infant, and imagine that all our generous friends and family have donated all the furniture. How  much might we spend a month on a healthy infant? We're clueless.

The Financial Cost of Adoption

Anyone who has gone through the adoption process will say that's it's always nice to know what's coming. For couples starting the process, we thought you might want to know what expenses are like along the way. Here's where we are so far:
1. $100 preliminary application fee
2. $550 formal application fee
3. $50 criminal background checks
4. $170 expenses for day-long training (travel, hotel, food) in Asheville
5. $15 lead test kits
6. $100 doctor appointments
7. $200 counseling appointments
8. $100 travel and food for trips to Raleigh for Bethany meetings
9. $40 carbon monoxide detector
10. $20 fee for yard sale ad
11. $40 gas for travel to and from conference and misc. yard sale travel
$1385 as of 10/10/10
12. $70 family profile books and mailings to Bethany offices
13. $3100 home study


There are so many great resources out there to help with the cost, and creativity goes a long way. Friends of ours gave out baby bottles and asked friends to fill them with change. Another family asked for yard sale donations and put all the proceeds toward the cost.

A LONG Surgery

On Tuesday, March 2, Angie had a laproscopic myoectomy at NC Baptist Hospital. Surgeons removed two fibroid tumors, one of which was embedded deep in the wall of her uterus. What was expected to be a two-hour surgery took six hours, and the recovery room nurses had a hard time waking Angie up. Because of her sleep apnea, she would stop breathing, and nurses would have to wake her up to make her breathe. So an outpatient surgery became an overnight stay, and Angie came home Wednesday afternoon. She's been sleeping for three days and has been well cared for by Stan (who got a free snow day to stay home on Wednesday) and her parents (Mom stayed overnight in the hospital and has cooked up a storm. Dad plays cards with Angie when she can stay awake long enough to get through a hand.).

This surgery is supposed to make the uterus more hospitable for pregnancy, so this blog may do double duty one day. We want to be parents; however that happens is fine by us.

Details!

As per several requests, here are the details of our journey thus far:
After a miscarriage in 2007, we began talking seriously about adoption. We've never wanted to give  up on pregnancy, so we've tried several surgeries and procedures since then to no avail. Since we got engaged, we've both believed that we would be parents, but neither of us was convinced that our children would be biological. Last January (2009), at the invitation of our friends the Renslows, we went to a weekend adoption conference, and the world literally opened up to us. After meeting with several agency representatives and going to seminars on financing, we started doing our research and decided to go with Bethany Christian Services. The North Carolina headquarters is in  Arden (near family), the organization has a good reputation, and we were impressed by their cutting-edge work with embryo adoption (with the fertilized eggs from In-Vitro Fertilization).


So . . . here we are. We are pursuing a domestic adoption of a boy ages newborn to five of any race. We have months of work ahead of us, including our formal application, home study, networking, and fundraising. We're looking at a cost in the neighborhood of $20,000-$25,000.

In the last week, we've had a fire lit under us. Friends told us about a teenager who is due to deliver in one week. The parents who had committed to adopting her child found out they were pregnant, and the girl decided not to follow through. Because we have not done some of the paperwork necessary to take an infant into our home, we are likely unable to pursue.

If you are praying for us, please pray that we would hold loosely to our own "wish list" and remain open to God's will for the path we will take to become parents. King David wrote, "Unless the Lord builds the house,

its builders labor in vain.Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain" (Psalm 127).We want the Lord to build this house!

We have not given up on pregnancy, and we may have found the culprit. On Tuesday (March 2), Angie has laproscopic surgery at Baptist to remove endometriosis and a large fibroid tumor.

Welcome

Welcome! We hope you find this blog an easy way to keep up with Stan and Angie's adoption process. Just last week, we found out that our preliminary application with Bethany Christian Services was approved. Now we're on to to the formal application. If you'd like to know more about Bethany, check out the organization at http://www.bethany.org/