6 Months

Samuel will be six months old on November 2. He has sprouted his first two teeth in the last several days, and he voted for the first time yesterday. The touch screen was his favorite part.

A new Kratzer!

At 10:30 this morning, Samuel Myles got a new last name! He is forever a Kratzer. When I was on the witness stand this morning in family court, our lawyer asked me, "Do you  understand that this will be as if you gave birth to him?" I nodded so hard I forgot to say anything, and court reporters have a hard time recording nods.

After a very brief hearing, the judge---who spends most of his day on custody cases and was probably elated to have an adoption on his docket---let us take pictures with him! The police officer and court reporter both came over and held him. I'll get those pics up soon.

The Final Hearing

Next week, the Kratzers will get all gussied up to stand before a family court judge in South Carolina for our final adoption hearing. When we walk out, it will be with Samuel Myles Kratzer, whose legal status will be the same as if I had given birth to him.

Samuel turned four months old on September 2, and he is a character----a flirt who likes to hum as he falls asleep, who goes crazy when he sees the Orioles logo, and who prefers to be upside down whenever possible. He likes green beans, peas, and bananas, but sweet potatoes, not so much. He's a morning person, waking up around 6:00 every morning with a huge smile, expecting a dog lick or two before he gets his bottle. He spends his week days with one of his girlfriends, Stacey or Alyse.

Every few days, one of us will turn to the other and say with amazement, "Hey. You have a son." Next week, a judge will say it and simply confirm what the God of the Universe determined long ago. Thank you, Father.

Filing

Today our lawyer filed paperwork in preparation for Samuel's final adoption decree. We will go to court soon to appear before a judge who will then make him a Kratzer. We thought today was the final deal, but it wasn't.

Almost Legal!

Our South Carolina lawyer just called to tell us that both NC and SC have approved our adoption! (The birth parents are SC residents, so any child they have is considered a SC resident even if born outside the state.) Right now, we are physical custodians; we go to Spartanburg next week to sign the papers making him a Kratzer.

Three Weeks In

Samuel is just over three weeks old, and he has had a few successful outings. He's asleep on his daddy's chest right now, and they are both snoring softly. He has hit a growth spurt and is probably ready to move past three ounces; in fact, he was hungry every two and a half hours today. I had to take him to work today to wrap up the school year (This was our last workday), and he made the first couple of hours fun with five blowouts. Morris Johnson, my good friend whose son was born five days before Samuel, brought little Rob with him today, and our boys should be great friends.

Summer break is here!

One Week at Home

We've been home for a week now, and life is good. Grammy runs the house, Poppy loves on the baby when we're working, and the parents are living off fumes and joy. The routine is down, and we're all starting to recognize which cry is which.

The Name

Samuel means "God heard," "requested of God," "God's heart," or "God's name." Could this name be more suited to this child? fitting?

Coming Home!

The Kratzers stayed at the Burgins' house last night and then headed to Greensboro around noon today. The trip was uneventful, and Samuel slept all the way. Four of our neighbors stopped by to coo and hug us, and Cindy Holt brought a delicious meal. (The bar has been set!) Samuel slept most of day; in fact, he napped through two feedings. I was thankful because his exhaustion helped me get some much-needed rest.

Our air conditioner isn't working, and Stan spent the day running around trying to figure out how to get the house cooled off. It's almost 11 PM, and the house  is pretty comfortable. Tomorrow's bottles are washed, Stan has crashed, Samuel is asleep in Grammy's arms, and Poppy is headed up to bed. I'm going to change a diaper and lie down beside my son's bassinet and thank God for the most beautiful exhaustion I've ever felt.

Samuel Myles!

Friday, May 4    Samuel left the hospital after his birth parents signed the proper paperwork! At the writing of this post, he is asleep in Angie's arms.


Thursday, May 3   Everyone involved with the adoption struggled through this day. It's 10:00 PM, and we've been up since 4:30 AM. We got a hotel room near the hospital so that we could go over to the hospital for the feedings and nap when possible. Sleep is hard to come by because the birth parents are grieving and hurting. Emotions are running high, and all four of us have melted down at some point today. My favorite moment of the day was at the end of the 8:00 PM feeding: I carried the baby over to Stan and asked Samuel, "Do you want a goodnight kiss from Daddy?" His eyes popped open, and he kept them open for about three minutes, the longest stretch we've seen.

Wednesday, May 2 

• We got to the hospital at 9:45 AM to meet our birth parents in the lobby. They were late because the adoption counselor was late getting to their house to have them sign an affidavit giving the hospital permission to give Angie one of the nursery wrist bands. 
• While the staff was getting the birth mother prepped for surgery, Angie and Stan met the extended birth family--grandmother and aunt, who hugged us tearfully and sat with us waiting for Angie to be called back for the surgery.
• Angie's parents arrived at 11:00 to wait with Stan, met the grandmother and aunt, and spent the next seven hours with the family. It was awkward and emotional---joy on one side of the room and grief on the other. (It just hit me that this even was, indeed, life itself. The beautiful, God-orchestrated blessing in this is that the families grieved and celebrated WITH each other. When Angie's parents were leaving, the two grandmothers held each other and cried.)
• Angie was taken back to the holding room around 11:45 to put on a "bunny suit" and wait with the birth parents. When she walked in, the birth mother was in LABOR. (Keep in mind: this was supposed to be a pre-term C-section.). Although this was her third child, she had never experienced labor before; the first two were also pre-term C-sections. Her husband and Angie sat watching the monitor and giving commentary on the spikes ("Yeah, that was definitely a contraction.") Anyone watching would have found the whole scene pretty funny since I'm sure the birth  mother didn't need anyone giving a play by play when her contractions were two minutes apart.)
• At about 12:30 everybody was prepped and ready to go in the operating room. While Angie, Stan, and the birth father waited outside the door, the birth mother was given an epidural and a stool was rolled beside her.  Angie was brought in, and when the birth mother saw her, she said, "Oh, I'm so glad  you're in here. I feel so much better now." Angie stroked her head and held her hand behind the screen while the OB and the OR staff worked on the C-section. 
• At 12:49 we heard a cry and Angie started crying. The birth mother looked over and asked if she was ok!
• Angie was taken to the warmer to get pics and hold him for the first time. 
• The nurse walked out of the delivery room and showed the baby to "the fathers."  When she asked Stan if he wanted to hold the baby, he gasped. Angie actually got a picture of that moment.
• The rest of the day was a blur of nursery visits, feedings, and emotion. The sweetest moment was when Angie sneaked back to the nursery to ask if she could hold the baby, and the staff got her set up in a glider in front of the nursery window and called the waiting room. Both families came to this little window and packed their faces in to look and take pictures.
• Did I mention that our son was born about five minutes from the house I grew up in?

Tuesday, May 1 We had dinner with both parents and their daughter, who is the baby's full sister. We stared at her the whole time, wondering how much her brother would look like her. Angie was waiting in the restaurant lobby for them, and when the hostess opened the door, the birth father opened arms for a hug and said, "Hey, Mama." We took lots of pictures and got a cute video of the family. We learned that the surgery was moved to 11:30 and that Angie will be wearing one of the two wrist bands given to parents for access to the nursery.

Monday, April 30  Our big dog Spencer is utterly freaked out by all the commotion. He knew something was up. Rudy, as usual, was clueless. Angie, totally overwhelmed by it all, threw up all day.


Sunday, April 29  The nursery is set up and ready for a little boy!


Saturday, April 28 Angie's college roommate and  forever-friend Donna Cunningham brought a car full of little boy clothes to the house. She taught Angie how to swaddle a baby with receiving blankets. So sweet!


Friday, April 27 We got our lawyer involved in dealing with the hospital's policy that no infant can leave the hospital with anyone but the birth mother. Since our birth mother is choosing not to see her son, that rule just might now work. Our birth mother texted Angie that her husband wanted to meet us, and we worked out a time to meet Tuesday night.


Thursday, April 26  We had a conference call with a SC adoption attorney, and he immediately jumped in. He got one of his adoption counselors on the call, and before we were home from work, that counselor had spoken with the birth mother and made an appointment to see her for some initial paperwork. We were surprised to learn that, in SC, a biracial child falls under the "special needs" category for placement. This child's biological mother is Caucasian, and his father has an African-American parent and a Puerto Rican parent.


Wednesday, April 25  Carolina Adoption Services recommended Brinton Wright, an adoption lawyer in Greensboro, and Angie spoke with him at length about all the options. After several phone calls, we decided that it would be best to hire a South  Carolina adoption lawyer to handle matters since the birth family resides there (even though the baby was to be born in NC). Brinton Wright gave away a client, and we were so very impressed by his selflessness. The  most appealing element of hiring a SC lawyer is that state's lack  of a revocation period. Once the birth parents have signed the paperwork abdicating their rights as parents, there is no turning back for them. After our October 2011 reversal, we found that piece appealing.


Tuesday, April 24  Stan spoke at length with a lawyer who could answer few of his questions. She sent us a contract, but we both felt restless and unsettled about working with her.


Friday, April 20  We drove to a small town in North Carolina to meet the birth mother and her sister (because her husband had to work). We hit it off instantly and talked non-stop for an hour and a half. Just before we left, the mother said, "I know you two want to be at the hospital that day." We assured her that we did but that she called the shots about our presence that day. What came next was a shock: She invited Angie to be in the operating room with her and made it clear that she wanted the baby to be handed over to Angie.

Wednesday, April 18  Our international home study for our Uganda adoption was finalized by Carolina Adoption Services in Greensboro (great people!).

Tuesday, April 17  The birth mother called Angie's friend early in the morning and said she wanted to meet us. Tena called Stan at home, Stan called Angie at work, Angie called Tena on her cell, and we spoke for the first time in 25 years. Angie got the mother's contact information, texted her, and set a phone date for that evening. The two women spoke Tuesday evening, "clicked" on the phone, and Angie learned that she was due May 14 but was scheduled for a C-section May 2. We agreed to meet for dinner on Friday.

Monday, April 16  One of Angie's high school friends, an ultrasound tech, met a young married woman who opened up about her desire to go the adoption route for her child. The friend, Tena Pate Simmons, told her about us.

Update

Our second home study has been completed and notarized, and all materials have made their way to the folks at Good Shepherd's Fold. We continue to network here in the States, so please pray for wisdom and direction as we communicate with the young moms we meet. We want to love them and speak loving truth into their lives whether they make an adoption plan or not.

Meeting God

This morning at the Created for Care retreat, I went to an 8:00 A.M. "Date with God" organized by the conference. There were several stations set up around the room, and we had 45 to go to any stations we wanted and follow the instructions for each station. I stayed for some time at the painting table, where we were to ask God for an image of the way he sees us. There were tears rolling down my cheeks before I even picked up a brush.

I prayed and heard the still, small voice in my spirit say, "Frolic. Flip. You do not carry this life." I painted a child doing a back flip barefooted in tall, green grass. I wrote beside her, "You do not carry this life." When I finished, I walked over to a huge world map that was spread out on the floor, stood on Uganda, and prayed. As I was walking away from that station, the session leader stopped me and said, "Before each session, I pray and ask God to direct me and show me people he wants me to pray for. I believe he showed me you." We wrapped out arms around each other, and she said, "He wants to be the strength in your weakness. He sees you." We prayed, and I picked up a scroll of scriptures they were giving out, and these are the scriptures on the scroll:

2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Psalm 33:20 "We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
Isaiah 26: 3-4 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of t hose who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
1 John 5:14 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."

Created for Care

I am at a retreat for adoptive moms at a lodge on Lake Lanier. The organizers seated us at dinner by country, and I was with five women who already adopted from various children's homes in Uganda. Their stories are so varied, including one who ended up staying in country for 11 months waiting on the resolution of a legal glitch. I heard two stories of children dying of asthma attacks because of lack of access to medical facilities that could give them breathing treatments.

I found myself angry today when I saw pregnant women who had also adopted. I have to say to myself, "Our road is not their road." God has not forgotten us.

Almost There

Our home visit on Friday went really well, and now we're on the home stretch . . . maybe just rounding a base . . . maybe just getting up to bat. Pick your metaphor. Within a week, we'll have all of our paperwork ready to send to the Ugandan orphanage and start the international part of this adventure.

For review, we are requesting a single child (either gender) ages 0 to 7 or a sibling group within that range. If our referral is a sibling group, we are required to have one parent at home full time for the year following the beginning of the guardianship.

Interviews

It's interview week! We had our couple interview with the assistant director of Carolina Adoption Services. We talked mostly about awareness of the issues we'll face with international adoption, specifically attachment. Stan will have his individual interview on Thursday, and mine is Friday after the home visit. After all of that is done, we'll wrap up the home study and get all the paperwork to Good Shepherd's Fold so that we can get on the waiting list.

Tidbits

We have turned in our paperwork and paid for the home study update. (That puts our total adoption spending at $6650.) On the Uganda end, things are a bit slow, but it is our hope that we will be there this summer for about a month to hit two court dates.

I (Angie) have been reading John Piper's Bloodlines and another interesting book of transracial adoption stories, In Their Own Voices. Both books have opened my eyes to the issues we will deal with in our family.

Our Next Move

After much prayer and counsel, we have decided to pursue adoption from Uganda. For about ten years, we have been financially supporting Good Shepherd's Fold, a large orphanage in East Africa. Very good friends of ours, Jimmy and Gayla Renslow, have adopted two little sweet peas from there and are involved now in helping other families to do the same. We have applied to GSF, and we began our second home study on Friday, January 13.

We are very thankful for all we have learned working with Bethany Christian Services, but our contract with them has ended, and we have come to the conclusion that we should go in a different direction. The need is great in Uganda, which has over 2,000,000 orphans due to warfare and the AIDS epidemic.

Please pray as we transition, educate ourselves on transracial adoption, and make big decisions. Here's a link to a short video about Good Shepherd's Fold. Click on the third blue link.