feeling hopeful again

We had coffee yesterday with a couple who are currently on furlough from work in the Philippines. They have been serving for the past year at an orphanage that is caring for 22 children, most of whom were placed there because their large,impoverished families could not handle one more mouth to feed. We learned today that our adoption agency works in that region, and we excited once again to be back on the path toward adoption. We find ourselves much more open to adopting a sibling group, and there is one (girl, 4 and boy, 6) at this orphanage. There are also two babies (newborn and three months), so that's exciting as well.

Pray with us for direction and for doors to open and close as is God's will.

Update

Last night, our birthmother made the decision not to go through with the adoption. We were prepared for this news and have been grieving all week. There is some relief in knowing; being in limbo was taking its toll on us.

Continue to pray for God's will to be done. The baby is due on Wednesday, and she can still change her mind. We are not expecting her to do so, but she is very young and lacks family support, so she may have a change of heart once reality hits.

Exhausted but Peaceful

Sadly, our birth family is seriously considering reversing the adoption plan for their son. The mother is in anguish over the decision and longs for peace and confidence that she is doing the right thing. We have grieved with her over the emotional turmoil and grieved as a couple over the prospect of the nursery remaining empty.

Through the last week, however, I have experienced something that for me has been rare: a joy and peacefulness that I did not expect. Being THIS out of control brings a freedom of mind and heart that has made room for a lot of grace for this beautiful girl. The best part of it all is that I didn't do anything to GET the peace--no deep breathing, meditation, counseling, or self talk. It came in its entirety from the Lord.

The baby is due in nine days. Please continue to pray for God's will to be done.

Roller Coaster

Please pray for the birth family; they are really struggling with this decision. They are in so much emotional pain coming to grips with what is about to happen. Pray as well that God would continue to prepare us for parenthood or the grief that may come with a reversal.

We learned Monday that the birthmother is only 1 cm dilated now, so there won't be a baby any time soon. This little guy may make it to his due date!

Any Day Now

At 7:20 this morning, I got a text that our birthmother is 2cm dilated. I walked into the living room to tell Stan, and the color drained out of his face. I called "Susan" around noon, and she told me that she is having contractions but that they are far apart. She doesn't seem to think she'll deliver any time soon and sounds so relaxed about the whole thing. Well, one of us has to be.

If the baby comes this week, he'll be about a month early. Please pray for strong little lungs.

Labor Pains

I (Angie) learned today that our birthmother has been having some PM labor pains. Her doctor thinks she is dehydrated. We're four weeks away from the due date, so the delivery could be any day now. I went to Babies R Us tonight and used the WAND to finish registering. So fun! I bought a few "just in case" items: preemie Onesies (so tiny and cute), wipes, and burp cloths. C'mon, Smyles; we're ready for you.

Tick, Tock Tick, Tock

Lots of folks are asking for an update, but we have none to give. The birth family is doing well, and so are we. Stan is nesting, and it's utterly adorable.

Healthy Mom

We have been texting the birthmother, and she is doing well. Every day is a gift because she delivered her first child two months early. The baby is due seven weeks from today! Both of us "crossed over" in the last few days from being excited and nervous to being ready.

Painting, Planning, and Praying

There are no major updates to give, but we have mailed off our agreement to have an open adoption. We're just waiting on contact information so that we can start calling and texting the birthmother. Stan's brother painted the nursery for us last weekend, and his wife helped haul everything out of the office to get ready for that. A sweet friend at work loaned us a bassinet, Stan has bought a case of size 1 diapers at Costco, and we have enough Orioles onesies to last a day or two. Angie's dad filled a shopping cart at a consignment sale yesterday (for those who know my dad, you know how cute that had to be!), and at least 20 of Angie's students are ready to babysit when needed.

Come, baby, come.

Here's the Link to Our Online Fundraiser!

Medical Fundaising Made Simple

A Blessed Meeting

We spent an hour and a half this morning with the family of our birthmother. Her husband and daughter joined her, and it didn't take long for all of us to relax and begin chatting. Several important decisions came out of our time together, the biggest being our mutual decision to have an open adoption. Our son will have three "half" sisters, and we all want there to be some sort of relationship, even if it is a distant one.

I instantly fell in love with this young woman's heart and look forward to a lifetime of knowing her. Our relationship may kick into high gear SOON; she had her daughter at seven months' gestation!

Pray for Meeting

We will be meeting our birthmother on Tuesday morning. Please pray for ease of conversation, openness, and a sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Layette

I learned a new word today for baby basic needs--layette. I'm gathering a whole new vocabulary these days. We have decided--scratch that--Stan decided after sitting on me and threatening me with squash--that we should not go whole hog (what an odd expression) on the nursery until we have cleared the seven-day post-birth waiting period. We're going to paint and get the basics we would need for that first week, so I've registered at Target. Here's the link if you'd like to give me some feedback on the items I've chosen. MOMS! This means you!

www.target.com/registry/baby/1RJAVM4Z75U3B

Trouble Following Us?

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Update

We spoke today to the social worker who is working with our beautiful birthmother, and things are going well. She is on bed rest, but we do expect her to deliver early. Although the official due date is October 12, it is likely that she will give birth in September. If the baby is premature, we will be the ones in the NICU bonding with him.

In two weeks, Stan and I will drive to meet the birthmother, her daughter, and her new husband. We are so excited about getting to know this family! It is our hope that our son will grow up knowing his sister.

A Turn

There are turns for the worse, turns for the better, and turns so that a sonographer can get a better look. It's a boy! The birthmother is doing well and may be on bed rest for the next three months.

Early Labor

Our birthmother, who is at 26 weeks, went into labor this morning. She went to a local hospital, and a doctor was able to stop her contractions pharmaceutically. She is no longer dilated.

October 12!!!!

A lovely young woman in North Carolina has seen our profile book and chosen us to be the parents of her daughter, who is due October 12. She said we were "cute" and EXACTLY what she wanted: older parents who were unable to have children of their own. Pray for health for the birthmother, health for the baby, and God's orchestration of all the details.

Baby, Maybe?

I'm afraid I'll have to be vague for now, but we are celebrating that a young couple has expressed interest in us as the potential adoptive parents of their daughter. Friends and family who check the blog regularly, please keep this news quiet for now. I'll post more details as I can. We ask for prayer for this family as they make some very hard decisions in the coming weeks.

Update

Several friends have asked about our status recently. After a strange series of events with DSS, it looks like we are not being considered for the little girl I've written of so many times. Last week, we received in the mail an envelope containing out profile book---no note, nothing, just the book.

Days before we received that package, we got a call from a close family friend who is also an English teacher. She knows a student who is due in October and is choosing life for her baby and wants her (yep, another girl!) to grow up being loved by a family that is unable to have biological children. Exciting!

I keep telling myself, "Don't get emotionally invested this time. If it doesn't work out, it's not your child." That's pretty easy to do up front, right? We've been through five our six of these not-gonna-happen adoptions, but we keep putting feelers out there.

This afternoon, I was sprawled out on my classroom floor organizing and filing while trying to wrap up the school year. One of my freshman girls was helping me, and out of the blue she said, "I really hope you get a baby, but if you don't, you can adopt me." So many parents ask me if I have children, and I've begun to say, "Yeah, I've had about 2000 of them." I'm ending my 20th year of teaching tomorrow, and nothing makes me cry faster than a teenager expressing love. Another girl texted me last night at about 10:30, "I passed my EOC! I love you."

Please continue to pray for God to show us our child . . . or children . . . or his will that we not be parents. Hands open, palms up.

An Odd Conversation

I spoke with the social worker who called Stan last Friday, and I didn't get much information from her. Here's the short of it: The little girl is not up for adoption, so we can't adopt her. Her answers were evasive and cryptic, and she told me that some of the information I have is false. I feel like I'm in the middle of some girl drama between two of my freshmen! When the "she said" business is over, I hope we have some clarity. Until the court date in May, there's is only one thing to do: pray for the right family.

Uphill

The roller coaster is climbing right now, and we're still holding on. We got a call on Saturday from the family that is advocating for us with the judge in charge of the little girl's case, and they don't think it's over. According to her, the judge makes the decision, and he won't announce it before May. We learned some disturbing news about the child's living conditions, and we long for her to be in a permanent, healthy, safe situation. Angie will call DSS on Monday to get clarity.

A Closed Door

Stan got a call from DSS today that the girl we were hoping for is not available for adoption. The social worker could not give details, but I suspect that the child was placed with another family that was already in the DSS system. We're really sad but trust that God has orchestrated the right family for this little one.

May Court Date

I e-mailed our contact who once had custody of the two-year-old I've been writing about (for those of you keeping up with the story, this is woman #4). She dropped off our profile book, home study, and letter at the office of the judge who will be hearing the child's case in May. She hasn't heard anything from the judge, and neither have we. Please keep praying for God's orchestration of placement for this precious little thing.

Update

We've spoken to a couple who cared for the little girl, and they are advocating for her in court. One of them is writing letters to the family court judge in order to prevent the child's adoption by a woman who has a criminal record. At the same time, she is asking the judge to consider us. We'll be mailing our own letter to the judge on Monday.

A Little Blond Girl

About six weeks ago, we learned of a child whose birthmother could not care for her. We pursued in a limited way (sent a link to our Bethany profile) but put the whole thing out of mind when it seemed to be going nowhere. Today, I got an e-mail asking if we were still interested and that, if we were, we needed to write a letter to a local judge telling him about ourselves. We're going to pursue and see where things go.

An Update

We are still in a holding pattern. We've heard nothing from Bethany yet about birthparents showing interest in our little family. In the meantime, we are praying and saving and looking at cribs online (so fun).

I have a sweet story to relay: For Christmas, my mom gave us a baby quilt she hand sewed. On Christmas night, she and I spread it out on the dining room table, and she taught me how to stitch the quilting designs on the squares. She worked on one end while I worked on the other, and it was a sweet, quiet mother-daughter moment.

We have one fundraiser going on right now. Stan's Rudy Roasts coffee business is getting to its feet, and all profits go to the adoption. The web site is almost ready for prime time, so I'll put that link up soon.